Hey guys , been awhile. Busy with … ew zoom, and other life activities.
Any way, since I’ve been doing my “ thing” it’s really helped me cope with the stress. If you’re unaware of my thing, yeah my thing is drama. Something about shouting a monologue at 2 a.m. really settles my nerves.
Here’s how Ii found my thing
There are times in one’s life that they have a sudden clarity. An epiphany if you may. For athletes it’s often the first time they touch a ball. For writers maybe it’s the first time they read a book. For me it was neither. When I look back on it I want to make it a greater story than it is, but it was simple, and it started with a horriblye sung song.
I’d been begging the pastor to let me sing a song for my birthday, November 18, or as the church knew it, family and friends day. To a seven year old who grew up in this not too big church, this was a really big day. My birthday, the day the other churches would come to ours. It was also very close to thanksgiving so all the relatives had gathered up.
“We have Shymrri here, the birthday girl, here to give us a closing song of twinkle twinkle little star.” The pastor had introduced me as I had requested.
Maybe that’s where the addiction started. When Iit stood up from the faded blue, hard pew I’d been sitting on, and squeezed past the crowded legs. When the adrenaline pumped threw me as I hopped my way to the front of the church and took up the microphone.
In my not too fine voice, I suung out the song for a bit before realizing that there was no background music. I came to an abrupt stop and demanded that the piano and guitar accompany me.
Yes, looking back if performing was nicotine then this was the first time I lit the cigarette. The clapping after wasn’t for my singing – I knew that much, but I didn’t care.
We all need an escape from the cruelty of this country. That’s what being black in america means. Find your thing , use it. It’s far more than just something you like to do. Sometimes it’s all you have.
You’ll know when you find it.